I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T<--- Do you (really) know what that means?
We hear it everywhere, chicks screaming that they are "independent". But what exactly does it mean to be independent? I mean, maybe I've been fed the wrong information, but I was under the impression that independence was more so about finances, but other things too (being self-sufficient and capable of doing something, not really NEEDING to be financially dependent on another). Of course, there are those unfortunate circumstances where we may end up temporarily needing financial assistance, but I'm sure you get the general idea.
ANYWHO... I'm seeing young girls who have never had a slice of real world pie claiming independence because they have a job making just enough to pay their cell phone but can't really do much else but maybe shop and afford public transportation. Then there's those females who take being independent to the next level by letting this "independence" overshadow what a man is there for with the infamous "I don't need a man..." hoopla. In my opinion, independence is the ability to take care of your self in any given situation but not being afraid to ask for help. I feel it goes pretty much hand and hand with maturity. You can stand on your own two feet. You know how the real world works. You're practical and realistic, rational and not stretching yourself thin just to be on your own so that you can claim this "independence." But when you want a man, sometimes you gotta let the man be the man! If he wants to pay all the bills even though you're more than capable of helping, why not? (lol). Yes you can do your own oil change, but go on head and let ya man do it if he's saying he can! Why not? Sometimes women need to relax with the tossing around of the word "independent" and stop acting like an A-sexual creature or like they can't let someone do certain things for them. There are still things we need from a man and want him, (unless men don't float ya boat). Just like we need to feel wanted or appreciated, so does a man...so LET THE MAN BE THE MAN!
...but I want to know what y'all think bout this...What is your definition of "Independence"? Do women take the idea to far? or not far enough?..Do you Agree or disagree with my view?...go in...
I also think you all should check out this blog post, I feel it relates to what I'm saying about how independence can be taken too far! "I am my own man syndrome"
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This was an excellent read! I definitely think you hit the nail on the head and people should benefit from this. BUT men also have to learn how to step up and be a man. A lot of men don't know how to take control(a big difference from being controlling), provide financially, emotionally etc. Then you have little boys who think they are men and so does the women they're dating and when real men situations arise they don't know how to act accordingly. Anywho, thats just my little prospective I'm addition to what you already mentioned.
ReplyDeleteYou make a great point though..the woman should not have to always pick up his slack or nag and constantly remind him of things. He should be stepping up. And those little boys and girls need to learn the definition of independence before they use the term. Also check out Kenya's response below I think she made a great point that I hadn't thought of
DeleteAs a male i feel SOME women take it to far. It's not about being independent that is all good and fine, but those who act like they are to the point where a man is useless and can not do ANYTHING (money wise or sex wise) for them is what bothers me. In my own thoughts if a man is willing to take care of you then why not let him? If he wants to treat you like his queen and do right by you why not let him? Im sure batteries can only also do soooo much lol. Don't get me wrong it okay to be able to handle your own and live by your own means, but don't take it to the extreme. So i agree and really think this is a great read and topic to discuss.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your feedback Todd! Also check out my friend's response below, she made an excellent point that I had not really thought about that might explain things for some women.
DeleteGreat topic!
ReplyDeleteMy definition of independence is along the same lines of what you discussed. I believe that it is being able to sustain a comfortable lifestyle for yourself. So, as you stated that obviously includes financial stability, but what you consider to be a "comfortable lifestyle" is going to include more than what your finances can provide. There are so many other variables in an individual's life that need to remain balanced in order to live comfortably. Those variables will differ from person-to-person, so if you are able to balance those variables as well as keep yourself afloat financially, then I will consider you independent.
Now on the topic of women taking their need to be independent too far... I definitely agree that some can. However, with some women I do not think that it is always intentional. Personally, my current relationship is much different than those I have experienced in the past. This is probably the first relationship where I have truly had a man that I can LET be the man. I do not have to push him to do certain things, I do not have to overcompensate in areas to make up for what he lacks....he really holds it down! Now if you have not experienced that in your relationship before, then you may never know how to let a man be a man, because you have never been ABLE to let a man be a man. You may have always had to do the things that your man should be doing. And although my parents have been married for 24 years, and I know what a man is suppose to do, if you are not experiencing it within your own relationship than you will naturally begin to do the things your man lacks. Then, you may become so used to doing it that it becomes second nature which will inevitably carry over into your next relationship until you come across the right man. And like the previous poster, this is not just with finances or things around the house because there are things that a man is suppose to provide for a woman emotionally and sexually.
So, that is why I try not to hold it against certain women too much until I know their story because years ago someone would have probably said the same thing about me!
Sorry for the long post! LOL I am really looking forward to reading more from you :-)
Kenya thank you so much for your feedback! And i think you've made an excellent point! If people are set in their ways or used to a certain lifestyle that does not include having a man around to do all of these things then they are unaware of how to let the man step in and do his job in certain areas even if it doesn't seem like that big of a deal to them.
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