Proceed With Caution - Dating Red Flags

 

When you want to get to know someone, you usually want to keep your eyes open for any red flags and "deal-breakers" that you may want to think about before taking things to far with someone. All too much I see people just jump into a relationship after only knowing someone for a few weeks. Then when that "first date face" phase passes, they begin learning the REAL person..the good & the flaws or the things they refuse to tolerate. [FYI: "First Date Face" is basically when you're on your best behavior trying to be as perfect as you can and impress the person you are interested in].

Below are some Red Flags that you may want to keep an eye on when single and mingling. At the end, I've also attached some links with more red flags!

• Insecurities, Flaws, and Deal-breakers

Everyone should have deal-breakers, reasonable ones of course (you shouldn't be asking for what you don't even have to offer). Be weary of a person's insecurities or flaws. In the beginning a person is putting on their best to impress you but as you spend time with them you will learn about their flaws and insecurities, some of which you may not be able to deal with.

• Their Lifestyle

In my opinion a couple should compliment each other in some way and though people claim "opposites attract" this is not always the case. Be aware of that person's lifestyle because whether you realize it or not once you're dating someone certain decisions made by one of you can affect you both. Know what you're getting into from the beginning because there's nothing worse than a person who claims to like you just how you are then starts trying to change everything about you!

• When was their last relationship and how long did it last?

Watch out for serial daters or relationship bouncers - those people who have never been steady/stable with someone for more than a few months. Sometimes this can mean this person has no guidelines about what they desire in a mate. Which ties into my next one...

• Uncertainty

The person does not know what qualities they admire in a potential mate. This also relates to someone who's uncertain of their future, meaning, they do not know what they want for their future nor do they have any sense of direction in this area. A person this unsure may be impulsive and sometimes irrational- not always thinking their decisions through. Spontaneity is great, but as adults there needs to be some sort of outline/plan or inspiration to follow.Though there's nothing wrong with possibly being a good motivator, you should not have to the "parent" and "raise" them from scratch to get them to find a path.

• They seem too desperate about the “idea” of a relationship or "Don’t want to sleep alone" Syndrome

Really no one wants to be single forever, but if they are always rushing into relationships and settling for anyone for the sake of not being single, you may want to go around them or make them take it slow with you. Also, if they talk about a long future with you when you haven't even learned their last name, they need to slow down! Most experts suggest it takes a minimum of 3 months or later to know someone enough to possibly takes things further with them. I've heard others say you need to see them in ALL the seasons. Personally I like to wait a few months myself, especially if we spent a lot of time together in those few months, but to each his own. Just make sure you know the most important things, other things will be learned as the bonds progresses.

• If they seems to be all about is the sex

You know those one's who never want to spend quality time with you? Never want to do things beyond the bedroom. You're pretty much a "booty call." I just feel that a person who feels that intimacy, romance and affection is simply SEX, then they apparently are lacking some depth. Sex is not the only extension of showing someone how you feel about them! Let’s make that very clear. You'd be amazed how some of

• People with Children

Of course not everyone with children, but we do know what I mean - those guys or girls who's child's other parent has an issue with them moving on and insists on getting in between. Make sure that guy/girl has all of that in order first! Also, have them reassure you that they can balance their parenting with their love life. I don't know about y'all but if a guy is consecutively having to give "rain-checks" because he has no babysitter or what have you, maybe he needs to be better prepared before trying to seriously date.

**There are other Red Flags to watch out for but these are to name a few. The moral of this is, "Proceed With Caution! No need to be all in too soon!**

>>>>> Check out These links for more Red Flags to look out for!! More Dating Red Flags Red Flags Men Should Consider... Dating Red Flags Women Must Look For