[Tech]nically Speaking.....

"I'm tired of using Technology, I need you right in from of meh" -- Justin Timberlake "Ayo Technology"

---That is how I feel everyday about technology and social networks. Don't get me wrong, they both can be a great way to NETWORK or INITIATE a few things and interact with different types of people, but it seems like so many people depend so heavily on these things rather than face to face interaction when it comes to dating. I thought that a social network was just an initiating tool when it comes to the dating. You know, express interest get a little background information and determine if there's any initial desire to meet at a neutral public place then go from there. Instead, people ask you your life story in an inbox message or a text rather than just the basics but maybe I'm just too old-fashioned. I know some things seem easier to say when you don't have to say it directly to someones face, but expressing "true feelings" and asking deep personal questions, I feel, are Face to Face topics to discuss.Why wouldn't you want to express the emotions you're feeling and look into their eyes and feel that energy? I just don't get it!

" if you are both talking about all the important stuff via Twitter, what the hell do you talk about when you do actually ever talk?" Panama Jackson in the article - "When Online Dating and Social Media Collide"

Instead people form these generic "relationships" because they lose sight of the difference between LIKE vs. INTEREST. You know, the ones that claim you bout to be their "boo" and always talking about the future when you two have yet to breathe the same air? Someone may sound perfect via technology but most of the stuff people say about themselves is probably all good stuff so they can sound so good to you but you have yet to learn them all the way around so how can you "like" them on that level?. It ain't natural in my opinion and at the end of the day you are still only going by what you SEE in those pictures. They look so good that everything they say seems good because you so badly want what you see, lol (be real, admit it). The only way I can determine I truly like you is when I am around you and interact with you. You gotta sense that energy, chemistry and also that sexual tension(if any). Interest just means I want to know more about you to see if I like you...gotta know the diff!

I think basically the point I am making here is we gotta stop substituting talking with technology with this dating stuff...Unless your partner or person of interest is hundreds of miles away (which might I suggest Skype, OovoO or Facetime over text/tweet/phone) why not be in their presence when you can? .....Just something to think about. Feel free to post your thoughts, opinions, links to articles related to this post below!!!

Size of the boat? Or the motion of the Ocean?

So, I have a friend who wanted me to ask this question.... "Does size matter to women?"

If you think about it, men get to look right at us women and see our figures(especially at the pool) and gain an idea of how we look naked , how sex would be, what positions he wants to try, where, when, etc...lol...What about women? Yes we see your physique and are usually instantly attracted. Then the question pops up sometimes "what if he's small?" We know that age-old saying "it's not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean". Is it really though? If so, does that mean we women should just tolerate our man's size even if the sex is not pleasurable? Or should size be somewhat of a deal breaker? Dare I get too graphic, but during penetration we have to feel "it" to have some enjoyment...right? So can a man really blame us for wanting a certain size? Not the biggest, but large enough to feel it and enjoy it lol!  Perhaps the smaller he is the more work he is going to put in and not be lazy and rely on his "man-man" to do all of the work? Hmmmm...something to think about.

So I ask again, Does size matter? You may answer with a simple "yes or no" or feel free to explain.

I have an article here "Does Size Matter to Women?" that claims women don't care about penis size. If you can, take a glimpse over it before you answer to see if maybe the article influences your thoughts in any way, but you don't have to of course.

*Until next week!!*

You gotta let the MAN be the MAN!

I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T<--- Do you (really) know what that means?

We hear it everywhere, chicks screaming that they are "independent". But what exactly does it mean to be independent? I mean, maybe I've been fed the wrong information, but I was under the impression that independence was more so about finances, but other things too (being self-sufficient and capable of doing something, not really NEEDING to be financially dependent on another). Of course, there are those unfortunate circumstances where we may end up temporarily needing financial assistance, but I'm sure you get the general idea.


ANYWHO... I'm seeing young girls who have never had a slice of real world pie claiming independence because they have a job making just enough to pay their cell phone but can't really do much else but maybe shop and afford public transportation. Then there's those females who take being independent to the next level by letting this "independence" overshadow what a man is there for with the infamous "I don't need a man..." hoopla. In my opinion, independence is the ability to take care of your self in any given situation but not being afraid to ask for help. I feel it goes pretty much hand and hand with maturity. You can stand on your own two feet. You know how the real world works. You're practical and realistic, rational and not stretching yourself thin just to be on your own so that you can claim this "independence." But when you want a man, sometimes you gotta let the man be the man! If he wants to pay all the bills even though you're more than capable of helping, why not? (lol). Yes you can do your own oil change, but go on head and let ya man do it if he's saying he can! Why not? Sometimes women need to relax with the tossing around of the word "independent" and stop acting like an A-sexual creature or like they can't let someone do certain things for them. There are still things we need from a man and want him, (unless men don't float ya boat). Just like we need to feel wanted or appreciated, so does a man...so LET THE MAN BE THE MAN!

...but I want to know what y'all think bout this...What is your definition of "Independence"? Do women take the idea to far? or not far enough?..Do you Agree or disagree with my view?...go in...


I also think you all should check out this blog post, I feel it relates to what I'm saying about how independence can be taken too far! "I am my own man syndrome"

Thanks For Stopping By!!

Welcome!! I'm new to this Blog thing so bare with me (lol)! The goal here is to discuss Dating, Relationships, and the Gender war that's often intertwined in it all. I am just 25, but I've already dabbled in cohabitation, marriage, and divorce. Not to mention countless dates and encounters with several different types of guys and heard some crazy stories. I've learned so much, however, life is about progression and there is always room for improvement! I will use my blog as an outlet to share my experiences and potentially enlighten others. However, I also plan to learn from me readers but that requires you all's participation! Do not be afraid to speak up and say how you feel on my blog! Moving on, I named this the Venus-Mars Enigma in broad reference to the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" but more so to the mystery of how men and women view relationships and why they view them so differently...Or do they?...Furthermore, the power struggle between the sexes and working towards finding the balance. I will often post links to different articles of opinion or research with tips & advice that I feel are accurate and could be insightful, informative, and even entertaining. I'll state my viewpoints on the topics then I will discuss other common viewpoints of these topics. Lastly, I may ask questions for my readers to comment on to see, perhaps, a new perspective I hadn't before. I especially hope my blog will be a great reference those who may be too shy to ask their friends certain questions. I welcome all TASTEFUL, honest opinions and friendly debating. Enjoy, and please come back often!! =)



- Alana B.

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