Break Up, To Make Up

A little while back, one of my readers [Who wishes to be anonymous] had a Love/Relationship topic request for me and I thought now would be a great time to use it - being as this is one of those seasons when people do tend to reflect on their love life, or lack there of. Not sure about y'all, but I am not a fan of dating these days. It is tough and it just gets tougher as you get older and your standards rise and whatnot. Even when you feel you know exactly what you desire, you tend to still have to meet and/or date several people before finding someone who makes you feel like you have to know more about them and are willing to put in that effort with. So any-who, this is what my reader asked:

["I wanna hear your thoughts on breakups that involve both parties that still deeply love each other....even after if one of the parties admits to messing up the relationship, breaks it off to better themselves as an individual. Give your opinion if they should work it out or just let it go"]

>>> I would LOOOOVE it if you all could leave some feedback in my COMMENTS section on this topic! I have only been truly in love one time and these were not the terms we split on so I can only speak but so much on this topic. For me, I'm not a "break up to make up" type, so when a relationship is ended, whether by me or by him, I reflect, chalk it up, and move on. If I feel it is worth fighting for, I will. However, I feel as though if you are just going though something with your partner why break up rather then work through it? Why not try to resolve the issue first, then if you two cannot agree to disagree or find middle-ground and move forward together without holding that issue over one each other's head in the future, then why continue? Especially if you feel this is someone you wanted to marry or become life partners with, then you have to learn to work thru even the toughest of things. Those hurdles will either make or break a relationship. It really depends upon the worth of the relationship to the partners(in my opinion). The saying "it takes two to tango" though it is so cliche, it is a great one! Even if one person is wrong, you cannot spend this undisclosed amount of time expecting them to be making it up to you while you do nothing! You should still be putting in effort, being (at least) some what understanding, and letting them know that you see they are or are not trying! Relationships are ALWAYS a two-way street! It is not just about you, it is about you BOTH! An age old piece of advice i was given was to do a "pros and cons" list. If the Pros outweigh then you stay. By weigh we mean quality, not necessarily the amount of pros outweigh the cons. A guy can be everything to his woman but also be a "woman beater" or a woman could be everything to her man, but also be a chronic cheater. So, don't just think of "how many" think of how important certain traits are to you in a relationship but also reflect on what your partner desires and ask yourself "Am I doing my part?".

---- So again, I ask of you all, please give your thoughts on this topic below!!

              W.hat-W.ould-Y.ou-D.o?

"Every little thing that we do..."

Remember that song? "Between Me & You" by Ja Rule and Christina Milian? Well that song definitely just had me thinking about those people who are either always in someone's business or blabbing their own for attention! You know the ones; the ones who tell the world their business or social networks, or always fishin' in someone else's - trying to give advice but ain't handling their own business. The irony: they're either single(and have been for God knows how long), or in terrible relationships themselves!

When I'm in a relationship, I'm not telling all of my business. Except the happy stuff! Lol. But I don't even tell all that either because there's always someone who wants to kill your joy! They say "misery loves company," right? There's always someone who's going to try to bring you down or try to fix what ain't broken! And if people find out you have drama in your life, they are trying to find out about it!

EX: > "I miss my boyfriend , not talking to him fucking sucks ! 😔" < An invite for a prowling guy to swoop in!!

I cannot even count the number of times I see people on Twitter and Facebook talking about how they are with their significant other, but they're tweeting. So, someone like me will think: "Hmmm, so social networks are more important to you than giving your mate some attention?" Or how about the ones who are in bad relationships and are telling the world about it!? "Ugh, he can tweet but he ain't textin me? Oh I'm bout to be single again" Really though? There are still people who don't know I got divorce from my ex! Lol. Some things just not need be broadcasted - at least not right after it happens.

And to you single people who have never even had a real relationship...a GOOD real relationship...How dare you? How you all in your friend's business telling them how to act when you can't keep a dude/girl yaself for more than a month? Get outta here. If you're in a relationship follow what my man Ginuwine said... "It ain't none of your friends' business" <---- Truer words have never been spoken!!

However...if you're going to vent...might I recommend:

• Talk to someone in a successful relationship (preferably someone married)
• Talk to someone experienced! (most likely someone older)
• Talk to someone neutral and unbiased who will keep it real with you not just sugarcoat everything
• Wait until the situation is over and done with!

Handle YOUR business on your own!! Advice is okay to get of course. Take it into consideration, but these solutions don't play out exactly the same for everyone! Opinions should not be taken literally! But that's just me.

>>>> What y'all think about people who blast their business all over the internet? <<<<

Weigh In...