#LateNightThoughts while watching these "epic" love stories on TV:
I know these tv shows love to make a love story look like you have to continuously break up and makeup in order for the relationship to grow and show some twisted kind of loyalty, but I PROMISE it doesn't have to be that lol. You don't HAVE to break up with someone to be able to work on whatever issues you have or while your partner works on theirs'. You can be together and just be going through a rough patch. As soon as you breakup, you're not both going to be as focused on the relationship as you would have been had you still considered yourselves a couple.
One of you will lose some faith, or start dabbling in dating and suddenly one person is no longer that invested in the relationship anymore and now you're fighting for their attention again without working on the issues that broke you up. And perhaps you do get back together. Then the same issues come up again because they were never really worked on. Instead of breaking up for a few weeks or months, if you both know you want a future, you can be There to support each other instead. If it's a toxic issue then yeah perhaps that person just isn't your match, and you should just cut your losses instead of forcing things... but people always cheer on these off again on again couples or "situationships" and then when they still don't work out after all those years, you see those same folks using that off & on thing as a reason as to why they knew those folks wouldn't work out lol.
Ever notice that? EX: "They were always breaking up anyway". Then when time to finally move onto the next relationship, you have a SHIT TON of baggage and trust issues due to attributing so many years to a person that you still ultimately didn't end up with. Sometimes it's best to save yourself the experience and dip after the first break-up, take the lessons with you to the next relationship and don't make the same mistakes nor except the same mistakes over and over.
I'm just rambling based on my own experiences. I've never been one for off and on boyfriends. For me it's because whatever broke us up will live rent free in my head if we made up. I would never forget it and it'll probably disrupt the relationship which wouldn't be fair to me or him. Therefore, once I decided to breakup or the guy did, I accepted it and moved on. I did a double back with 1 person and regretted it lol. Luckily that was a very short-lived situation so I didn't feel like my life was wasted, but surely I NEVER did it again. Moving forward I made my intentions very known and expected the same from a guy I was dating. No pussyfooting around. I've had so many women ask "how'd you manage to find a good husband for the second time?" I mean because I worked on me, learned some important lessons, and applied them when dating. You should never move onto the next without finding out what the life lessons were from the previous so that you don't make the same mistakes.
One of you will lose some faith, or start dabbling in dating and suddenly one person is no longer that invested in the relationship anymore and now you're fighting for their attention again without working on the issues that broke you up. And perhaps you do get back together. Then the same issues come up again because they were never really worked on. Instead of breaking up for a few weeks or months, if you both know you want a future, you can be There to support each other instead. If it's a toxic issue then yeah perhaps that person just isn't your match, and you should just cut your losses instead of forcing things... but people always cheer on these off again on again couples or "situationships" and then when they still don't work out after all those years, you see those same folks using that off & on thing as a reason as to why they knew those folks wouldn't work out lol.
Ever notice that? EX: "They were always breaking up anyway". Then when time to finally move onto the next relationship, you have a SHIT TON of baggage and trust issues due to attributing so many years to a person that you still ultimately didn't end up with. Sometimes it's best to save yourself the experience and dip after the first break-up, take the lessons with you to the next relationship and don't make the same mistakes nor except the same mistakes over and over.
I'm just rambling based on my own experiences. I've never been one for off and on boyfriends. For me it's because whatever broke us up will live rent free in my head if we made up. I would never forget it and it'll probably disrupt the relationship which wouldn't be fair to me or him. Therefore, once I decided to breakup or the guy did, I accepted it and moved on. I did a double back with 1 person and regretted it lol. Luckily that was a very short-lived situation so I didn't feel like my life was wasted, but surely I NEVER did it again. Moving forward I made my intentions very known and expected the same from a guy I was dating. No pussyfooting around. I've had so many women ask "how'd you manage to find a good husband for the second time?" I mean because I worked on me, learned some important lessons, and applied them when dating. You should never move onto the next without finding out what the life lessons were from the previous so that you don't make the same mistakes.
- ThoughtsFromVenus
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